While the couple is halfway enjoying their humping, the mom spotted them and approached them furiously.

The couple didn’t stop because they were reaching climax. The infuriated mom grabbed a wooden stick nearby and poised to whack the guy…

25 years ago, a twin was born. 25 years later, they’re both hit by the recession and are jobless. They both came back to their hometown of Sibu and started conversing in a kopitiam near Oya Road Lane 13.

Raw Opium. Carrying this drug carries a death sentence in Malaysia.

Twin Brother A: Eh bro, nowadays sibeh jialat leh, I loss my job in Kuching. Western Digital fired me ledi. Eh, how’s your job ah?
Twin Brother B: Pattern Gigital? Similan company is that? My job sibeh eng, everyday collect money oni.
Twin Brother A: Collect money? Who owe you money you need to collect?
Twin Brother B: See who owe la. Bank borrow money to people, we also borrow money to people. We can approve instantly, bank cannot. That’s why, people like us very much!
Twin Brother A: Wahseh, like that, got kangtao for me or not? I also want to collect money leh.
Twin Brother B: Brother, not everyone can collect money one leh, you see yourself. Hair so fluffy, use gel like no need money. Wear spec like office boy, body no tattoo, face no scar. People where got scare?

But I hear say lately got one very good job position, newly opened one. Only twins like us can apply!

Twin Brother A: Fuiyoh, what job only twin can apply? Good pay or not one?
Twin Brother B: Job very easy oni and damn good pay you know. You want in or not?
Twin Brother A: What job first?

Twin Brother B: Drug trafficking. Guarantee safe as long as you arrive together with me when I deliver the drugs! You scare issit? Don’t worry one! Nah, you read this news first…

Malaysian identical twin brothers have escaped hanging for drug trafficking as a court failed to decide which brother was the criminal, and cleared both.

A judge in the capital, Kuala Lumpur, said the case was unique and she could not send the wrong person to his death.

In 2003 police arrested one brother found driving drugs to a house. The second twin arrived soon afterwards and was also arrested.

Neither officers nor a DNA test could identify which twin owned the drugs.

Sathis and Sabarish Raj, 27, cried in court when they heard the judge say that the prosecution had failed to prove which twin had been arrested first with a car containing 166kg of cannabis and almost 2kg of raw opium.

According to the New Straits Times, the judge told the court: “I can’t be calling the wrong twin to enter his defence. I can’t be sending the wrong person to the gallows.”

Execution is mandatory for convicted drugs traffickers in Malaysia.

- News from the BBC.co.uk

Twin Brother A: Eh, where to apply for the job ah?

Happy Chinese New Year everyone. As we countdown to Chap Goh Mei, The 15th night, the end of the Chinese New Year festivity, we’re also counting down to the highest king tide of this year, on that same night. This is going to be an exciting end to the festival.

In conjunction with the Chap Goh Mei countdown, we’re going to countdown from Oya Road Lane 13, all the to Oya Road Lane 7 and then to Jalan Hua Kiew to check out the flood situation there. So here goes.

Oya Road Lane 13.

Fraudsters are distributing fraudulent e-mails around and they’re poised to steal/hi-jack your Maybank2u account login details. So, to those naive, non-tech-savvy users, be extra careful when you’re reading your mail.

This fraudulent e-mail made it into my Yahoo! mailbox. They even bought a domain name similar to M2U’s. Fresh Internet users woulda been conned into that plot.

When you receive e-mails such as these…

1. Don’t ever trust those e-mails asking you to login from the link they provided.
2. Access to the website of your bank by typing in the URL directly.
3. Most common frauds target login details of PayPal, Google Adsense, Maybank2U and other banking accounts. Many have been conned and their account stripped bare. So watch out for those e-mails, NEVER login via the links they provided.

They load the real Maybank2u account login interface and mask the trap over it. Users then assume it’s the real thing and key in their username and password. The details are then logged and in a matter of a few minutes, your savings are gone. Sounds unbelievable but there are people who really get conned by this sort of mails, no kidding.

There are also lots of e-mail telling you that you’ve won a million dollar jackpot. Some of them are very convincing. There’s one time that I really bought a jackpot online from a specific country, and the e-mail they sent was also from that country, it’s a struck of luck that these people eventually get you by coincidence. The e-mail arrived like 1 year after I bought the jackpot ticket, so, rational judgment quickly tells you that if I’ve won, I woulda got the email long ago. And I have a collection of all those million dollar jackpots and those Nigerian fund transfer scams with totals up to billions, if those were real. I would be sitting here giving thousand dollar angpows like water already.

Stay smart and stay conscious online. Beware of those cons. Don’t play play, there are people who had already really fell for those.

As the world goes into recession, a football club in England is dishing out tons of money to setup a world record transfer deal. While giant corporates are restructuring and firing employees to save millions of dollars, one particular football club in England are reported hiring and paying £500,000 PER WEEK just to kick a football! No kidding, and they’re paying a reported £107 million to buy ONE, SINGLE Brazilian superstar.

Manchester City FC’s Chairman, Khaldoon Al Mubarak must be asking, Recession? What recession?

Brazilian superstar – Kaká is worth £107million.

About 8 years ago, Real Madrid shocked the world with the Luis Figo and Zinedine Zidane deals worth £37 million and £46 million respectively, breaking world records one after another. 8 years later, a club that was still considered only a floating club a few years back, were offering over £100 million for Brazilian superstar Kaka, costing more than BOTH the Real Madrid’s stars together. Other Premiership low-riders must have been shuffling Tarod cards and asking God why those oil tycoons didn’t pick them up.

Anyway, Kaka’s current employer AC Milan had given the green light for Manchester City to open talks with Kaka. The fans might not like the deal, but if it does happen, the £107 million could mean the world to their investors and the club’s development. But no big deal, they can always snatch up some cheap Brazilian talents and turn them into the next Kaka and be selling them for hundreds fold the price of their cost. Just like what Arsenal’s Wenger did with Nicolas Anelka and Thierry Henry. It’s all business.

“Milan has authorized the negotiation with City,” said Kaka’s spokesman Diogo Kotschko. “The next step is Kaka’s father will talk to Manchester City.”

The director of the club’s in-house TV channel, Mauro Suma, said Milan were looking at City’s offer for Kaka.

But he added: “Considered does not mean decided or accepted. We are not faced with a decision made or a done deed.”

Just some of the customary denials and cover-up stories as the deals are shaping up. I think Kaká will be playing for Manchester City after the 2009 Chinese New Year, what d’you reckon lads?

Previously Kaka had told the website of Mediaset, a TV company owned by Milan owner Silvio Berlusconi, he wanted to stay at the club for life.

“I want to grow old at Milan,” he said.

“I repeat what I have always said. Other clubs can make all the offers they want but it all depends on Milan.”

Look at the contrast in between the two statements – I want to grow old at Milan and but it all depends on Milan. Well, Kaka, you can always reject the £500,000-per-week contract and grow old at Milan as you’ve wished, can’t you?

I don’t think you can Kaka, it’s not about Milan. It’s about the money on the table. £500k-per-week you guys! Otherwise, he’ll be kickin the wall and having nightmares of the £500,000 cash circling on top of his head every week shouting why the hell didn’t I accept it?! The temptation is too strong my friend.

What did we learnt from the news? No matter how bad the economy is, dudes and blokes all over the world (especially this part of the world in Asia) are still stuck in front of the TV sets, still watching 20 men chasing after a ball, still placing bets like there’s no tomorrow! Still alive and kickin’

Who said there’s a recession?

I was doing my annual spring cleaning this afternoon and I found this. Almost 16 years ago, my dad bought this for me and I was over the moon that I owned a gaming console! Not that I’m a gaming geek, I was more to PC gaming after I’ve got my first PC 12 years ago. The TV game hype of my age only lasted for about a year or so. Well anyway, I’ve donated this set to the nearest Red Crescent society and hope that someone would make better use of it!

Photos taken by my cellphone, so please excuse the blurry pics.

Ending Man, what a lame name to a gaming console. I still had my Chinese name written all over it. It was that good that I had to make sure that I actually owned it! Please note, it says “COMPUTER VIDEO GAME”, Computer! It was considered very high tech in 1992 okay?