Since the enforcement of new laws against terrorism by the Australian government, the public - local and international, has their share of critics on them. Here’s a story of a Singaporean couple of Ah Beng and Ah Lian, clashing with some Australian Law Enforcement Officer in the Melbourne International Airport. The story goes like this…

It was a beautiful morning and Singapore Airline’s Flight SQ237 landed peacefully at 8:55am. Passengers were tiredly but happily strolling towards the arrival hall to greet the fresh air of freedom in Melbourne when suddenly…

An officer shouts: “EVERYBODY DOWN!! Unattended luggage spotted!! Suspecting terrorist in the hall!”

Everyone in the airport acts frantically to the order of the officer.

Ah Lian: “Wah lau eh, why everybody down ah, someone drop money ah?”

Ah Beng: “Eh, maybe leh, let’s go find find see got or not.”

So, they duck and search for the prescious while the officers approaches the luggage cautiously and tries to read the details written on luggage.

The passenger tag writes “This Bag is Ah Lian One”.

The officer shouts on the top of his voice: “Passenger Ah Lian One, come out with your hands on your head!!!”

Ah Lian: “Na beh, how come? Why ask me come out one?”

Ah Beng: “Wa mah be zhai ya leh! Maybe they thought the money is yours eh. Eh, faster go take lah”
(I don’t know what happened, too. Maybe they thought the money is yours. Quickly, go take it!)

As they stood up, the officers-on-duty rushed to them and had their hand cuffed.

Officer: “You’re under arrest for breaching the new counter-terrorist law. Your luggage was left unattended! Do you know how dangerous is that?!”

Ah Lian: “Eh darling, what he talk about la, ang zhua wa tia bo?”
(Darling, what is he talking about, why didn’t I understand a word he said?)

Ah Beng: “%$#@!*, lu zhok si mi bang lu eh luggage tiok hik beng? Lu boh tak boh zhua meh? Australia zheng hu gu kai siaw sing eh law liao lar.”
(%$#@!*, why did you put your luggage unattended? Didn’t you read the news? Australian government introduced new laws already.)

Ah Lian: “Haiya, wa ki beh cosmetic ji eh mah, aneh luggage bang hik beng ji ah du beh sai meh.”
(Oh come on, I went to buy some cosmetics, so I left my luggage there, can’t it be done?)

Officer: “You two follow us to the integoration room now!”

Some information were exchanged in the room.

After thorough integorations and clarifications in the room, two of them were released on grounds that they were good citizens and had no criminal records. They had something else to dealt with.

Ah Beng: “Na beh, onli come 3 days nia, have to bring so many cloth for what.”

At the end of the day, Ah Beng decided to give the gahmen (Benglish of government) a rating.

Ah Beng: “Kaninia, tapai lai Australia limpeh du tiok dai ji eh, beh 4D du tapai beh tiok. Australia zheng hu bi wa lang Singapo zheng hu gu ka mahuan. Si beh du lan!”
(Motherf*cker, I always get in trouble everytime when I come to Australia, if I buy Lotto, none is that lucky. Australian government’s even more troublesome than our Singaporean’s. So damn frustrated!)