Who said only China has shitty English? This is Springvale in Melbourne, and the English here is as good as it is in China. Let’s take a look.

Leomon. 4 for $1.
Who wants some leomon? 4 for only 1 dollar! Perhaps a new breed of cheaper lemons huh?

Durain. 199 per kg.
Not into leomons? How bout some durains? This is not D-24 okay, in fact, “Durain” is the latest breed from Thailand, touted to be Durian King of the Kings. See, the “Durains” are so prescious they even tie them with a special plastic-made sack – in Malaysia you got see durian like this or not? In my humble opinion, if tie like that hor, easy to throw at durian thieves and poke them down!

Durians here are imported from Thailand, frozen. Some of them are reasonably ripe and taste pretty good, but some are almost raw. You see, in Thailand, they pick the durians when they’re still raw and then froze them before they’re being flown here to Australia – expecting them to be ripen when they arrive here. Well, some of them didn’t really make it, and you can’t even do that “smell” inspection because they’re all frozen! End up, picking a good durian depends on your luck rather than skills.

Okay, there are no new breeds of leomons or durains. I’m just crapping. Tell me, how good a durian can you get at RM19.90/kg in Malaysia? D-24? D-99? AK-47?